Richard Anderson

It all starts with this guy right here, Richard Anderson Sr. My father is an interesting person to say the least. He was a bundle of joy to be around, ladies man, and also haunted by some demons of his past. Some of which I have always tried to disassociate myself with but somehow fell victim of the same. As a Marine, he was demanding and concise. No room for error, his way or no way. That method of parenting can only go but so far when you are only working « part-time ». My father was married during his time in service and when he returned home, he met my mother. I can only imagine the drama my mom put him through when I was born. My father was in my life periodically in and out and by the time I was 14 years old, I learned how to survive without him and had other strong male figures in my life. At this point in my life we don’t talk at all, but I think about him often. I remember the good, the bad and ugly of our relationship early on. The constant drinking and drug use, tolerance of my mom and her habits. I just felt like he could have did more y’a know? Thinking back, it’s this book called « Things Fall Apart » by Chinua Achebe that was one of favorite books growing up, that gave me perspective on my father and I relationship. Okonkwo in the book is thé son of a man that was « titleless », in layman terms, a bumb, but only viewed as a bumb because he wasn’t a warrior, but a skillful flute player. Like a modern day homeless man in NY playing his instrument for money. However , Okonkwo grows up to be the best warrior of the village and gains many titles and wives. The twist of the story comes when Okonkwo was exiled and colonialism assimilated his village into something different then what he had previously known, loosing his previous status and prestige in the village.  He tried to resist the rules set in place, but when he realized he couldn’t help, he committed the ultimate sin : suicide. Suicide in his culture was just as bad as dying without any titles, which resulted in him being just like his father. This has always been my biggest fear, even though I realize we have a lot in common as I get older. Only time will tell.